Thinking About The Future
I decided to stop writing on my blog recently because life got in the way and needed my attention. I finished and handed in my senior thesis! After spending nine months birthing this project I'm so happy to say I did it and it's done. Now I just have to finish my other classes and go to my advising board and I'm done.
It's really exciting and scary all at the same time. I haven't found a job yet and as the days go by more and more of my friends are finding jobs and it makes me anxious. I know everything will work out in the end but it's still terrifying to think about. I've been so excited to start working and be on my own that now that I can't find anything I doubt myself and my abilities.
Then I celebrated my two girls birthday's back to back. My dog turned seven and my horse turned 17! I've been with my horse since the day she was born, literally cause her mother is now 30. It's crazy to see how much she and I have both grown together. I'm really glad I was with them on their birthdays, even if that sounds silly to some.
Then I went away for a few days, the best way I can describe it was a retreat. There was no cell service or internet and it was just really nice to be outside in nature and not worry about looking at job postings or Facebook or anything like that. I've developed a phobia of looking at Facebook now, I just can't look at everyone graduating and doing big things. I hate not knowing the future, as a virgo I love to have plans.
The other major thing I did was I took out my cartilage piercing of three years. I decided to let it close because it's just so high maintenance. It takes about two years for it to heal, but I had to take it out for an event and it closed within a few hours! I just can't handle that. I also feel so free without it. I can sleep without worrying about it all the time now!
Right now I'm just taking everything day by day, I can't think about anything farther ahead then my graduation right now. It's scary to not know what's gonna happen next but I think I just need to come to terms with that and accept it. What do you think? How do you handle the future when you don't know what's next?
I slept with my wet hair in braids and it turned out like this. I really like it. I think I'll try and do it again soon, maybe even for my graduation!
